Apple is IMMUNE from Heartbleed, it says. But don't check if it's true

Apple has reassured fanbois that its products have not been affected the apocalyptic Heartbleed vulnerability.
The OpenSSL bug has been terrifying the tech world all week, but apparently no one at Cupertino is that bothered about it.

After taking a few days to check its security, the fruity firm joined other companies in publicly announcing how worried or secure its customers should feel.
“Apple takes security very seriously. IOS and OS X never incorporated the vulnerable software and key Web-based services were not affected,” an Apple spokesperson said.
The Heartbleed bug lies in OpenSSL's implementation of the TLS heartbeat extension, and potentially allows bad guys to snoop through a motherlode of your private data.
We would invite you to test Apple's claims, but it might actually be illegal in the UK or the US.
So we'll just have to trust Apple on this one.